Hello friends! I want to let you know that on Monday, September 9th, I will be having hip repair surgery to fix a torn labrum and a few other lovely issues I have. Ahead of me lies a period of decreased mobility, time off from seeing clients, crutches and canes, pain and healing, and forced rest. As a work-oriented person, my focus since finding out about this surgery has mostly been on figuring how to be able to accomplish as much as possible during this time. I bought a special chair so that I can wheel around my kitchen and cook for my family. I have big goals for writing my book. I bought a cane so that I can be less limited on stairs and tricky surfaces. But to be honest, the truth of my drive is not actually about accomplishment- it is about value. I want to be of value, and an unhealed part of me believes that if I am not producing, I have no real worth. That if I am not tangibly contributing, I must be dead weight on everyone around me.
How often do we do things just to make sure we have “earned” our place in this world? Our culture rewards production, and for a lot of us our ability to survive depends on our production value. Our accomplishments. When we consider how we benefit others, most of us think about what we do for them. We forget that each of us holds an intrinsic value that has nothing to do with what you can produce, but solely with who you are. You bring light into this world with your truth and authenticity, an act which does not hinge on a job well done. You bring healing to others by holding space for them with your heart, not with your finished to-do list. You are not your talents, your roles, your job, your relationships, your home, your bank account, or even your influence- each of those things can be taken from you. If it can be removed from you, it is not the truth of who you are. Each of those things are wonderful tools you are using in this life to meet goals, learn, love, and grow, but they are not your identity. Your identity is the light of your soul that came into this world in the form of a baby who had nothing but itself. Who, in the womb, knew that it had something to give to this world, and something to learn from it.
The drive to work and do is both intrinsic and important. It is a normal human desire to want to work, to have goals and ideas, and to enjoy achieving them. But, in our capitalist culture especially, we have lost touch with the practice of rest and rejuvenation. The other day I had a client who is taking intentional time off from her twenty-year career to heal from overworking herself for so long, and she struggles sometimes to find the value in this season. I was led to tell her about the ancient Jewish practice of “Shmita” or “year of release”, the last year in a seven-year cycle that incorporates the concept of sabbatical into many aspects of life. Traditionally during this year the fields lie fallow (or unworked) for a season, a practice widely adopted during the Middle Ages which eventually evolved into the modern idea of crop-rotation. This intentional year of rest allows rejuvenation of the soil, increased fertility and moisture retention, helps to control the spread of pests and pathogens, naturally manages weeds, and encourages the land to heal and prepare for another growing season.
This is productive rest. This is rest that will yield an even greater harvest, just not immediately. Perhaps someone may come upon a fallow field and think, “that’s a shame, it could be growing things”, but the field knows that she is growing things, just within herself. The earth heals herself like our bodies do- sending nutrients to where there is lack, encouraging a rebalancing of the microbiome, nourishing the good cells and discouraging the bad, and soaking up the gifts of the sky to aid in the process. The field did not have to be broken to rest, it is simply part of the practice of growth. What if we thought of ourselves in that way? What if we honored rest as much as achievement? What if we could envision our lives as a series of cycles, each one requiring a season of release before it can begin again?
Perhaps rest is a key to unlocking the deeper mysteries and lessons that we are to learn. Perhaps without the cyclical surrendering to a season that strips us of the trappings of earthly identity, we may become too disconnected from who we truly are- a soul on a journey that came into this world with nothing but light, and will leave with nothing but the same, only brighter.
In my writing today, I asked my guides (who I call The Mothers) to tell me what I need to know about rest. What will help me to frame my perspective as I walk into this time? Their answer is beautiful and it isn't just for me, it never is-
“To rest is to gain. We invite you to seasons of rest for all of our benefit. When else do you listen with such interest? When do we have your ear? Your company? The secrets written into your heart must be invited to be heard. They do not yell, they whisper. Your body has been holding the weight of many, and it is strong and good. And sometimes, you must remove that weight so that it can heal. So that it can be ready for the next season. What is to be planted and grown? What clarity will come to you? What might you notice about yourself?
We hold you in this time, and it is our great joy. Let us tend to you, let us help others tend to you, and allow yourself to be bathed in love. There will be pain, which is a path towards transformation. Towards healing. You will find that this foundation holds a new threshold through which you will pass towards greater things. Even in the darkest moments, you will not be alone.
You belong, and you are loved beyond the walls of the time.”
- The Mothers
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